As of this week, I have now been writing this blog for three years. What does that mean? Nothing really. It hasn’t grown nearly as quickly as some other blogs I’ve followed, but that is mostly because I haven’t actively promoted it all that much, and because it doesn’t have a specific topic tied to it that people can search for. And it’s not necessarily supposed to.
I have made some new friends through this blog, people who, after randomly finding posts of mine, follow me and I follow them. I don’t have hundreds of adoring fans, like celebrities or like some of the blogs I follow. And some of the people who used to follow me don’t anymore. But that’s okay, because that’s how real life is too.
I’ve said before that part of the reason I feel so lost in the world is because I’ve been looking for ways to live like I’m in my early 20s again, with friends who live nearby and a church group that also doubles as a social circle. That’s not going to happen. That’s not how life is, and I can’t change that. But what I can do is make the most of what I have. My social circle isn’t going to be huge. But it doesn’t have to be, and it shouldn’t be. And it will change. People grow apart. People’s actions reveal who they really are, and it is better to let go than to stay angry and hurt.
I can’t change other people, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do anything. I can stay close to the people who have stayed close to me. I can try new things, since some of what I’m doing now isn’t working. Or maybe it’s time for another party at my house, to try to keep my circle intact. Or maybe some combination of those things.