giving up

Exit 175. It’s not too late for a comeback.

I have a lot of my mind right now.  None of it is ready to be a full post on here.  And now I’ve forgotten what I was actually going to write about.

Oh yeah… Two big things happened in my world this week: the end of the Major League Baseball World Series, and Halloween.  My team wasn’t in it, but if you know me, and you know how baseball works, you can figure out who I was going for.  The series went the maximum possible number of games, seven (for my unbaseballed readers, the champion is the first team to win four games, therefore the maximum length is seven games).  After around game 3, I predicted it would probably go seven games, because these two teams were so good, and so many of their games had been close, going back and forth.

I tried to keep my mouth shut.  I have very strong feelings against one of the teams that was involved this year, but I know people who like that team, and even though sometimes I want to feel differently, my rational thinking side still believes that supporting different teams is not in and of itself a good reason to lose friends.  At times during this series, I really tried hard to stay calm and keep quiet and not say anything.  I had the game on while I was handing out candy to trick-or-treaters.  The game was visible from the front door, and a few people asked me how the game was going.  I had some choice words for the dad waiting at the sidewalk wearing the jersey of the team I wanted to lose, but I was good and kept them to myself.

One important reminder to take away from this Series is that there is always hope, no matter how gloomy and pointless things can seem.  Many of these games featured one team taking an early lead, only to have the other team come roaring back later.  I often feel like life has me beaten down… but as long as I’m still breathing, it’s not too late for a comeback.  Play ball.

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Exit 163. It all goes wrong again.

I feel beat up.

Defeated.

Hopeless sometimes.

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insanity, as the saying goes.  Doing different things and getting the same results is real life.  At least that’s what my life feels like sometimes.  And just when I’m starting to feel optimistic about something, it all goes wrong again.

I’ve been lied to and misled.  I’ve been betrayed and stabbed in the back.  I’ve been the recipient of many empty and hollow promises that never materialized.

Sometimes I feel like giving up.  That’s been on my mind a bit more than usual lately, with a number of friends also suffering from depression, and all the celebrity suicides in the news recently.

But I’m not going to give up.

I’m going to keep putting one foot in front of the other as long as I can.

God still has work for me to do.  Maybe things really will change someday.  Or maybe I have to help someone else out of their darkness.

See you next time.  I’ll still be here.