Month: July 2019

Exit 249. I like consistency.

The TV show The Goldbergs is one of the most relatable shows to me in the history of television.  The show is about growing up in the 1980s with a crazy family.  That was my life (except that we’re not an East Coast Jewish family).  The show’s creator, Adam F. Goldberg, is the same age as me, and he basically just wrote a sitcom based on his actual family and childhood friends.  Many of the episodes’ stories themselves are based on true stories.  (“Adam” and all other names in this writing related to The Goldbergs will refer to the characters, not the actual persons on whom they are based, since this distinction may be relevant at times.)

By now, I’ve seen almost every episode from all six seasons (so far) of the show.  Every now and then, though, I’ll turn on Goldbergs reruns and see one that I haven’t seen before.  That happened a few weeks ago, with an episode from season 3.  One of the recurring story lines throughout season 1 involves the preteen Adam’s interest in a girl named Dana, who becomes his first girlfriend.  At the end of season 2, Dana tells Adam that she and her family are moving across the country because her dad got a job out of the area.  The beginning of season 3 finds Adam and Dana in eighth grade and attempting a long distance relationship (which in the 1980s could only be done with expensive long distance telephone calls).

Dana comes to visit a few times that year.  In this episode, the one which I saw for the first time recently, Adam is excited for Dana’s impending visit; he prepares to do all the things that they loved to do together before she moved, including going to a Weird Al Yankovic concert.  (Yankovic himself guest stars, wearing his hair as he did in the 80s.)  But Dana is unenthusiastic about doing all of those things.  Adam and Dana realize that they have grown apart as they have grown up, and they break up at the end of the episode.

As I’ve said before, I’ve had a hard time dealing with this kind of thing happening in my own life.  I like consistency.  I didn’t really have a group of friends in childhood, and when I finally got one late in high school, we all dispersed and moved away soon after, and I lost touch with most of them.  And I’m going through it again.  The group of friends I’ve spent the most time with over the last several years is shrinking.  Many of the others have grown up, gotten married, had children, and in various other ways taken on new adult lives, leaving them less time for game nights with friends or staying up ridiculously late.  Some have jobs that limit their social time.  (I have a job, but I manage to make socializing happen anyway, to some extent.  That’s probably why I’m tired all the time.)  Others have drifted out of my social circle for numerous other reasons.  And some people have moved away; I have had an unusually large number of friends move away in 2019, or plan to do so soon.

Why is all of this happening?  Some of it is just a natural part of life.  People grow and change, and their friendships and relationships change as a result of this, much like the story of Adam Goldberg and Dana.  This might not be what I want, but sometimes there’s just no way to stop it.

Or maybe, just maybe, God is clearing out my life to prepare me for something new.  Maybe I myself will be moving out of the area as well.  (God answered a prayer about that in the negative a few months ago, and I have no plans to move at this point, but who knows what will happen in the long term.)  Maybe I will become involved in a time-consuming way at my little 10-person church, as we find ways to grow.  Maybe there will be a new activity or a new relationship or a new hobby of some sort, or something I can’t even imagine right now.  Or maybe I’ll just make new friends, or for some reason shift my priorities to one of the other social circles of which I am on the periphery.  Not much I can do about it.  I just have to figure out which parts of my life to hold on to and which to let go of, and not stay stuck in the grieving phase when parts of my life are ripped from me through no fault of my own.

Exit 248. A Shakespearean sonnet made entirely of 20th and 21st century song lyrics.

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes,
You know I wish that I had Jessie’s girl;
There ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb,
Ain’t no companion like a blue eyed merle.
I’ve seen a little, but it ain’t enough,
We’d take a limousine ‘cause it costs more;
A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of,
And I can see the perfect sky is torn.
You got me ticking, going to blow my top,
I’ve got a pocket full of Kryptonite;
Pulsating to the back beat, Blitzkrieg Bop,
Yeah, I don’t wanna lose your love tonight.
Nobody likes you when you’re twenty-three,
That’s why I hang my hat in Tennessee.

Author’s note: Years ago, I noticed for some odd reason (this is how my brain works sometimes) that “You know I wish that I had Jessie’s girl” was iambic pentameter.  I heard Jessie’s Girl last week and started thinking about other song lyrics that could be considered iambic pentameter, which gave me the idea for this project.  So I listened to a lot of music on shuffle and thought of a lot of well known songs, and this is what I came up with.

Some of the rhymes aren’t perfect, I know.  It should also be noted that I found a lot of lyrics which, sadly, are missing the first unstressed syllable, like “everybody wants to rule the world” or “hurry boy, she’s waiting there for you,” so they don’t appear in this project even though those are among the best songs ever.  I also had a lot of unused lines that didn’t rhyme or didn’t fit very well, so if I keep listening for lyrics that might fit this pattern, I might write another one of these someday.

And if you don’t recognize the songs, every line is clickable.  Most of them are very well known, although from a wide variety of genres and eras, but a couple of them are more obscure.

Exit 247. Because I have freedom.

I didn’t post last weekend like I usually do.  And I almost never post on a Thursday.  I have a few notes scribbled on a paper with future topics for this blog.  But I’m not writing about any of that.

Today is July 4, Independence Day in the United States.  (Well… it’s pretty late as I’m writing this, and it’s already July 5 in most time zones in the world, but whatever.)  On this date in 1776, a group of representatives led by Thomas Jefferson signed a document claiming that the British Crown had abused its power, and that the American colonies had the God-given right to free themselves from this tyranny and establish a new government.

Normally this is one of my favorite holidays of the year.  Because ‘Merica, that’s why.  We get to barbecue and light stuff on fire and make things explode and celebrate freedom and bald eagles and being awesome.

But this year I just wasn’t feeling it.

I’m not making a political statement.  This isn’t about any opinions on the state of freedom in our country, or whether or not the Constitution is still being followed, or because of the current President or Governor, or because of who didn’t become the current President or Governor.  This is just about me being tired and worn out.

It’s been a rough week.  I did some physically exhausting yard work Monday, and I had an emotionally trying experience that I’d rather not say any more about yesterday.  And no one invited me to anything this year ahead of time.  I got an invitation to a small barbecue at the last minute, and I went, but I didn’t stick around to watch fireworks.  I was home and in for the night before the fireworks started.

This isn’t normal for me.  I love fireworks.  I didn’t grow up watching fireworks, so for me, there is still some childlike excitement attached to fireworks.  But I just feel like being alone tonight.

And that’s ok.

It’s ok to be sad and alone sometimes.  I can skip fireworks for a year.  Because I have freedom.  Because ‘Merica, that’s why.  God bless America.

I hope all of you had a happy and safe Fourth of July.  And for those of you in countries where this isn’t a holiday, I hope you had a wonderful day as well.