About a week ago, I had a disturbing dream. I don’t remember all of the details, but I do remember hearing somehow that Acrux, the ex from 2011, was back in town. I don’t remember if it was for good or for a visit or what. And “town” wasn’t even the right place, because for some reason I was at my parents’ house, which is in a place that Acrux never had any connection to. But I do remember her showing up there, wanting to talk. And I remember her being nice. She brought up the idea of getting back together, and I said let’s see where things go, or something like that that left the door open.
It was just a dream. It’s not real. For one thing, she definitely wouldn’t go out of her way to see me. After all, she wouldn’t even go out of her way for me when we were together. And I really don’t want to get back together with her. She wasn’t nice. She didn’t care about me. She just wanted someone to tag along while she did her thing.
But I have to admit that there have been times when I’ve thought about getting back together with other exes or women I was interested in. Sometimes I entertain thoughts of these women coming to me and apologizing, saying that they messed up and realized that I was the best they ever had, and wanting to get back together.
No. Not a good idea. And this is exactly why I feel like I’m better off not staying in touch with exes. Whomever it is that I’m thinking about, I’d get too caught up in the feelings of what things might have been like, based on my initial impression of what she was like before she showed her true colors. That isn’t reality. She’s not real.
Just like my dreams.
Or, in this case, maybe it would be better to say nightmares.