I’ve said before that my time off work this summer seemed way too short. I feel like the last year has been emotionally draining, for a number of reasons, most of which are not related to work, and many of which I have not shared here. I was hoping that having seven weeks off work would give me time to clear my head, so that life would feel normal again. But this has not happened.
I’m starting to wonder if it might be time for a more drastic step, and the message I heard at church this morning tied in with this. Maybe it’s time to become a bit more isolated. I’m starting to wonder if some of the things I do and people I see might be causing more harm than good. I feel conflicted about this for a number of reasons, though. For one thing, most of these things aren’t harmful 100% of the time. And, for the most part, no one is actively trying to hurt me. This is not a situation where I’m being bullied, or threatened, or anything like that. I’m just realizing that certain parts of my life that used to make me happy in the past aren’t making me feel that way so much anymore.
But what will I fill the void with? Part of the reason I haven’t cut things out of my life is because I have nothing with which to replace them. That means more time spent at home moping and being alone, and that seems just as unhealthy to me. But maybe I should be filling that void with God, spending that extra time in prayer and Scripture and meditation, to get some real direction on life. And this doesn’t have to be forever. When I feel ready, I can gradually add things back into my life provisionally, so I can better discern who and what are and aren’t worth my time.
I haven’t decided for sure that I will be doing this, but it’s something I’m thinking about. We’ll see.